speechless.

yesterday, my beloved uncle, Pak Uda, 60++, just passed away early in the morning (i don't know the exact time) at Gleneagles Hospital Ampang. al-fatihah.

'speechless' suits the title for today's post, i think. the moment i heard the news, i'm.... well... speechless... feeling melancholy... he's a great uncle. a very humble person, wise, calm, religious man. he talks little. only on vital things. he always smiling. tenang. hmm, just reminiscing...

Bazlan Osman
allahyarham's eldest son (my abg sedare)

i don't have the pic of my uncle, so i grabbed this pic from TM's site. it's my abg saudara like i've mentioned. abg bazlan's face ade iras dgn his father (allahyarham). abg bazlan too is a humble and very low profile person eventho he holds the position as TM's CFO. yg jelas, anak2 allahyarham pak uda sumenye berjaye hasil dari asuhan dan didikan agama yg amat ditekankan oleh allahyarham n auntie maznah. alhamdulillah. the fundamental of Islam is very important. teach ur children from an early age, expose them to the basic of Islam gradually until they know what is Islam and who is the Creator :)

i ermm.... don't know what else to say. enough i think. at first, yeah, i had a jumbled feeling, the mixture of sadness, loss, scared... but i know, i must accept it, God loves him more than we do and took him away... and the bestest thing i could do is du'a. recite yassin & alfatihah for him. may Allah forgives his sins and place him with others in heaven.

ameen.

fullstop~

psm 2.

the overview of my final project... ugly!

yg dekat pc client tu bukan mouse yer? it's a smart card reader to read the data. i used schlumberger cyberflex 32 k smart card that came along with the reader. dbase i used mysql je. senang nk deal. but ade conflict sket. sbb tak penah ade org run in real time network utk system smart card mcm ni. rasenye la. ni kata2 dr senior. previous seniors gune localhost je time present. papepon kene ask gurus.

flow:

data from smart card > reader > display in php page > php server > java server > mysql dbase

and vice versa. ingat nk gune php/java bridge between php server n java server. but bende ni kene test dulu psl tak penah lak gune. nak wat online system on real time. hmm... kalo tak sempat pon, terpakse localhost je. huhu... harap2 tak dpt mr. firoz as penilai! ; p

fullstop~

nieces.

nurqistina afrina ahba + nurqistina alya ahba

twins at their grandma's house (belah my sis-in-law kat pontian)

starring also irdina ahba norman (? months?)

3 little stooges in cameron highlands
from left: afrina, irdina, alya... iman safiah tak exist lagi time ni.. he2!

tgh tension2 pikir psl psm 2. tetibe teringat kat my nieces.
4 org sumenye. irdina + iman -> my eldest sis... alya + afrina (twins) -> my bro.
kalo tak total anak sedare 5, plus iskandar ahba norman (abg irdina + iman).
but he survived only 5 hours after birth.
i don't know the exact cause. i didn't asked my sis till today.
i just stunned when looking at his skull.
unusual thing to be seen. iskandar's skull failed to develop.
not well developed i would say. maybe lack of folic acid i just don't know.
i looked at him. weird. he didn't cried at all like normal babies do.
he looked like chinese for his father comes from mix blood family. chinese-malay and what else? he had a fair skin like porcelaine. he looked cute. calmed.
his eyes. he looked at me like he knew me.
i watched him in the incubator as the docs & nurses pushed the incubator towards a room.
i don't remember what room.
it happened so fast. i just had a chance watched him inside the incubator for several secs.
but, i remember the look of his beautiful and calmy face to this moment.
Allah is Great. ade hikmah di sebalik sesuatu.
human propose, Allah dispose.
we, accept this test with open hearts.
my sis was the first to know about iskandar's condition when he was 6 months old.
alhamdulillah, she accepted it like nothing was wrong with her baby.
she finally gave birth on Dec 2000 but her first-born child need to leave her on the same day.
iskandar went to see God. he went to joined others in heaven. al-fatihah.
he'll wait for his mummy to come in the hereafter.
he'll wait... insyaAllah..

fullstop~

convo.

souvenirs convo utk - aida, yana, anies, muhaini, mai
...tersusun elok atas lantai parquet room 4027 (tikar getah sbnrnye.. he2!)

yana dh balik... tumpang my room for 3 days. best r yana ade, lame dh tak jumpe. mak die pun ade but we met just for few hours. few hours pun takpe r, mak die sporting. hehe. hari2 yg dinantikan telah tibe...

september 4th, 2006

convocation day for fsksm student. morning session abes 1130 am. me, fieha, zuraida - naik kete faris. bwk skali segala souvenirs yg beli kat pesta konvo. ok r pricenye.. sederhana, tak mahal, tak murah. kire student rate r. terpakse parking kat meranti psl full kat tmpt2 lain. so have to go on foot ke dsi. but it's ok, only for few meters. tapi ikut plan tunggu kat depan hep. so g sane but perghh... ramai gler org! tak nampak sorang pun antara member2 yg convo. budak laki yg terjumpe pun, zulhusny. lain2 takde. bz kot dgn family masing2. takpe r... so tggu gak kat sane kedtgn budak2 lain. tgh2 tunggu terjumpe kon e ching (kat intel skrg... mantap) pastu ternampak budak2 chinese yg lain - rinie, lai yet shin, sang n etc. alhamdulillah jumpe gak anies, aida, yana, mai, muhaini. hehe best2. so kami mengadakan sesi bergambar. huhu. sempat gak bergambar dgn kumutha (a software engineer... katne tah, lupe) panas terik tu. peluh sgt2! budak2 ni yg pakai jubah lagi r. lepas penat berposing (heheh), masing2 balik dgn family. eventho, dpt jumpe kejap tp best r psl tu je last nk jumpe. lepas2 ni kene tunggu kad walimatus urus... he2!

hmm... jalan2 sekali jumpe pulak saad n faiz skali dgn pjus, aina. asmah & kucai pun ade. sedang tangkap gambar bwh khemah. tolong gak anies amek pic for the whole family. bapak die best. hehe. siap puji gambar yg diambil. ; p (skema lak ayat aku) huhu. sempat gak r main2 dgn anak sedara anies yg few months old. comel. putih. tembam. tak takut stangers. best je main dgn die. then, proceed. jumpe lynn, fieha, huda, zura rahim, zawil, aina lagi, pjus lagi, echoas, mihah. owh yer, najmiah, ani kat agora. hmm... ape lagi yg boleh dilakukan. bergambar, bergambar dan tros bergambar di merata tempat. sampai pak guard tu pun kene keje part time amek gambar kitorg. haha. relaks2... pak guard tu cool je. sporting. heheh.

then, g cp. makan. laparrrrrrr. penatttt. rase nk balik tros mandi. but dgr huda nk belanje. so terpakse batalkan hasrat n join r dorg. rezeki jgn ditolak. hehe. makan dgn meriah skali. 4 org dh nak dekat rm 20. huhu. best huda. alhamdulillah kenyang. then ingat nk ikut kete faris. but, yana kata nk dtg amek psl nk tumpangkan mak die kat bilik sbb mase die smpai my room pintu kunci. so, just few minutes then, yana eventually appeared. lerr... bwk kancil rupenye. ingat motor. hehe. yana pinjam kancil dr ayah dia yg tgh makan dgn mak yana kt cafe k9. so smpai je bilik hampir2 nk collapsed. letihhh. papepun solat dulu. dh lambat gler. kul 2++ pm. hmm... pastu mak yana naik... salam & borak2. mak yana org selangor tp kawen dgn org klate. dh dok klate 27 tahun so ckp pun slang klate. hehe. dorg kene gerak kul 1630 pm g senai. naik flight g klia then tukar flight g kb. huhu letihnyeer mereka. sian... wat to do. have to. ayah yana balik dulu naik kancil sensorang. yana & her mom kene naik flight psl yana sok kene keje (IT exec), mak die kene jaga umah. adik bongsu yana upsr start hr ni. so ermm... lepas dorg dh g... rase sedih lak. best sgt spent time together as before. hmm...

owh yer nk critic sket management utm mase convo day ni. from what i've seen, it's a very bad management. normally, kalo convo ade wat jamuan ringan for parents kan? but, so far, tak nampak pun the whole day sy kat sane. at least wat la minum2 ke, jamuan ringan for family yg dtg dr jauh. maybe dorg hungry, thirsty, but tatau where to search for foods. kan dah 37 tahun utm handle bende2 convo ni? so takkan la tak learn from previous experience kot? heck. then, parents yg masuk ke dsi pun ade problem. slalunye kawalan ketat n ade org jage kat entrance utk parents yg masuk. sbb yerla, yg bleh masuk 2 org je usually parents n u must give them the card as a prove. but, tadi takde pulak mcm tu. ade yg takde card lepas je. dewan boleh jadi full dgn org2 yg tak dpt card. so how about others yg dpt card n lebih layak masuk ke dsi? hmm... kesian r kalo kene dok belakang skali. as a conclusion, teruk la management convo day kat utm ni. kata nak towards world class university. but kalo bende remeh mcm ni pun tak dpt nk handle, mcm mane pulak dgn hal lain? hmm...

actually, sy critic ni pun based on what mak yana ckp. so as part of utm, sy pun rase malu la dgn ape yg berlaku. tak patut la kan. mmg ade betulnye setiap ape yg mak yana mentioned. jgn pandang remeh dgn kritikan yg diberikan, sbb kalo tak diperbetulkan, mmg buruk la nama utm. org boleh compare. people nowadays are not stupid. they can think. so kite yg dok kat university ni patut lagi cerdik dlm handle bende2 mcm ni. yerp, sy pun nasihat diri sendiri yg tak terlepas dari melakukan kelemahan. tapi, fikir-fikirkanlah...

okla... nak tedo, penat.

fullstop~